I face a real dilemma. A much beloved family member is being married in July — but both the ceremony and the reception are going to held at the Trump National Golf Club in Virginia.
The decision to hold it there was not made by my family member, but rather by the bride and her family, and the groom felt backed into a corner on the choice. Members of our family have voiced loud concerns about the location (enough that the bride’s family briefly said they were reconsidering), but they decided to stick with it anyway.
The bride and her family maintain that the choice of venue was “apolitical”, made solely on the basis of logistical factors and the attractiveness of the facilities. I, of course, view such a decision as inherently political and offensive: an affirmative statement that they have no problem with Trump’s racism, his mistreatment of women, his attacks on the free press, and the rest of the utterly offensive package of Trump that goes far far beyond party politics.
I also can’t imagine why anyone would choose to get married at a locale branded for a man who cheated on all three of his wives, who paid $130,000 to an adult film actress to keep their sexual relationship private, who bragged about sexually assaulting women, who has been credibly accused of assault by more than a dozen women, who barged in on underage women in their dressing room, etc -— is that really an auspicious place to launch a marriage?
(I’ll also admit that I am mystified by folks who spend tens of thousands to hold weddings at elaborate and expensive venues like this…. I’m much more inclined to the kinds of smaller, more homemade, more personalized celebrations that my friends tend to have. But to each their own, I suppose.)
I also note with alarm that Trump himself has made a bit of a habit of showing up unannounced at weddings at his properties…. if he happens to decide to go golfing that weekend there, it is not unimaginable that he would crash the ceremony or the reception and make himself the center of attention. I have no idea how I would handle being there for that…. probably by leaving immediately.
So, at this point, I honestly don’t know what I am going to do. I love my nephew dearly, and the thought of missing his wedding is heartbreaking, and I want to be there to support my sister (who is aghast at the location). But the thought of celebrating at a Trump property is horrifying… the prospect, quite literally, makes me sick to my stomach.
So I’ve come down to a number of options — all of which make me sad.
1. Suck it up and go to both the wedding ceremony and the reception. Try to forget where it is held and do my best to support my family members. Maybe wear an anti-Trump button, maybe collect Trump paraphernalia as gag (as in “make me gag”) treats for my friends. Drink heavily.
2. Go to the wedding ceremony itself, but skip the reception. The two main advantages of this are that I won’t be contributing to Trump’s catering profits, and I wouldn’t have to deal with trying to celebrate in a facility that has Trump’s name all over it. (I learned yesterday that even the dinner plates have “Trump” printed on them.) It would allow me to show my support of the couple by being there to witness their vows, without taking part if the Trump-branded reception.
3. Skip everything at the Trump country club, but still go to the rehearsal dinner the night before (being held at a lovely non-Trump location). Wish them the best, but avoid having to step foot on Trump property.
4. Skip the whole thing entirely…. send them a nice gift and best wishes, but stay home and don’t go to any of the events.
5. Other options I haven’t yet thought of?
(There are also the emotionally satisfying fantasies of engaging in vandalism, graffiti, theft, protest at the location, etc…. but those are not things that I would actually do, so they’re off the table...)
It sickens me to be in this position, and none of the options are appealing, every one of them has significant downsides.
So, what would you do? Suggestions are welcome. I have until June 16th to RSVP.
